Your absence has gone through me
Like thread through a needle.
Everything I do is stitched with its color.
— W. S. Merwin
It’s Memorial Day and for the second year in a row the pandemic has canceled the parade. My son, Dov, and I have a tradition of attending the hometown parade together. I like this holiday because it is one of the rare times we stop as a nation to remember those who died in war. … Continue reading Remembering His Little Brother
My strongest memory is of carrying my dead son to the hearse. It is the last time I pick him up and I immediately think of the pieta artworks, but I’m not Mary and Oliver is not Christ. His death does not save the world. He is just a little boy. Six years old. Plus, … Continue reading Eight Years
I recently read an opinion piece in the New York Times that talked about the coming “grief crisis.” The basis for the piece makes sense — if we are losing more people due to COVID-19 then there will be more grieving people than normal. In fact, one sociologist has created a “COVID-19 Bereavement Multiplier” that … Continue reading The Bereavement Multiplier
Grief has become a more accepted topic in the U.S. and if you are active on social media, there is no shortage of accounts addressing grief. In fact, you can take courses in addressing grief through photography, writing, painting, or with individual online counseling sessions. Writers are producing a range of books and many authors … Continue reading Treading Water
As the events of the end of 2020 and the beginning of 2021 unfolded, I found myself unable to find words to express my frustration, anguish, and uncertainty. I found it hard to believe that the death of 4,000 people a day in the U.S. was overshadowed by a man who simply ignores reality. I’m … Continue reading Too Numb To Care?
We are now in the second week of Advent, a time of waiting for the coming of Christ. As we wait, we prepare through our reading and prayers. As any child waiting for Christmas will tell you, waiting is hard. Fortunately, this is not an empty waiting, but a waiting that is full of hope … Continue reading Advent and Godot
It is just a piece of orange and blue silicone rubber. It used to be about a 1/8 inch thick, but is now at least half that thickness. The word “Happy” can be made out if you look closely. While it used to create a closed circle, it is now just a flat piece that … Continue reading The Missing Piece
Grieving people often think “why did this happen to me” which, considering they are the ones alive, might be a phrase better left for the one that died. Of course, what happens to the living is they are left with the absence of someone they loved. But this question of “why me” is one heard … Continue reading What Does Life Owe Me?
Give rest to the souls of Thy departed servants in a place of brightness, a place of refreshment, a place of repose, where all sickness, sighing, and sorrow have fled away. Many faiths include prayers for the dead as part of their teaching and the Christian faith is no exception. I’ll pass on much commentary … Continue reading Prayers for the Dead
“It’s hard to grieve in a town where everything that happens is God’s will.” A Complicated Kindness Writing good fiction about grief is difficult. Not only do you need a good understanding of grief, you have to know how to connect it with different characters. If a family is experiencing grief, they will face it … Continue reading Throwing stones at our house